Champagne Problems Critique – Netflix’s Latest Holiday Romantic Comedy Misses the Sparkle.

Without wanting to come across as a holiday cynic, it’s hard not to lament the premature release of Christmas films before Thanksgiving. Even as temperatures drop, it seems too soon to fully indulge in Netflix’s annual feast of low-cost holiday entertainment.

Like US candy that no longer contain genuine cocoa, the service’s Christmas movies are relied upon for their brand of badness. They offer rote familiarity – nostalgic casting, modest spending, artificial winter scenes, and unbelievable plots. At worst, these films are unmemorable disasters; in the best scenarios, they are forgettable fun.

The new Netflix film, the newest Christmas offering, blends into the vast middle of unremarkable territory. Directed by the filmmaker, whose last Netflix romcom was so disposable, this movie feels like cheap bubbly – fittingly lackluster and situational.

The story starts with what looks like an AI-generated ad for drug store brand champagne. This commercial is actually the pitch of Sydney Price, portrayed by Minka Kelly, to her colleagues at a financial firm. Sydney is the stereotypical image of a career woman – overlooked, phone-obsessed, and ambitious to the harm of her personal life. After her boss dispatches her to Paris to finalize an acquisition over Christmas, her sister makes her promise take one night in Paris to enjoy life.

Of course, Paris is the perfect place to pull someone from digital navigation, even when Paris is covered in below-grade CGI snow. At a absurdly cutesy bookstore, the lead meet-cutes with the male lead, who pulls her away from her device. As demanded by rom-com conventions, Sydney at first rejects this perfect man for silly reasons.

Equally as expected are the film elements that unfold at sudden shifts, mirroring the rotation of old sparkling wine in the vaults of Chateau Cassel. The twist? The love interest is the heir to Chateau Cassel, hesitant to manage it and resentful toward his dad for putting it up for sale. In perhaps the film’s most salient contribution to the genre, he is highly critical of private equity. The problem? Sydney truly thinks she’s not dismantling this family-owned company for profit, competing against three caricatures: a stern Frenchwoman, a severe blonde German man, and an out-of-touch wealthy man.

The twist? Sydney’s shady colleague Ryan appears unannounced. The core? Henri and Sydney gaze longingly at one another in festive sleepwear, despite a vast chasm in financial perspective.

The upside and downside is that none of this sticks beyond a bubbly buzz on an empty stomach. There is no substantial content – the lead actress, still best known for her role in the TV series, gives a merely adequate portrayal, superficially pleasant and gestures of care, more maternal than love interest material. The male star offers exactly the dollop of French charm with mild self-torture and little else. The gimmicks are unfunny, the romance is inoffensive, and the ending is straightforward.

For all its waxing poetic on the luxury of champagne, no one is pretending it is anything but a mainstream product. The flaws are the very reasons some enjoy it. One might call an expert’s opinion about it a champagne problem.

• Champagne Problems is now available on the platform.